Booze and Babies

When I think of drinking, I usually think of a good time and waking up with my hair plastered to the side of my face. I believe that this is largely due to my young and spritely age of 23. Moving up to Salt Lake from Sandy when I started college has opened my eyes to the world of adult drinking.

Growing up my mother never really drank, not that she was against drinking by any means, but she just never did. (As a result she has the alcohol tolerance of 90-lb 12-year-old girl) My father enjoyed a beer every once in a while, usually while kicking back in front of a football game or as a post-dinner drink. Sandy, where I grew up, was a largely religious and conservative town in which people lived very "cleanly." Despite being in the minority, I never felt excluded or like my family was living a life of heathenry. I was adamant to a point of being militant that you did not need church or religion to develop a strong set of morals. My parents raised me right and always taught me to think for myself and to consider others.

Moving up to Salt Lake and meeting some of my new friend's parents introduced me to a much more liberal and alcoholic world. They had a glass of wine with dinner, they threw adult parties at their houses and ordered bottles of Grey Goose that weighed more than I do. Good times. It became apparent that these free-loving adults had this lifestyle while my friends were growing up too; their children turned out fine. Wonderful, in fact.

A while ago a mommyblogger named Melissa was on the Today Show and was made out to be a devil among sinners for sponsoring a afternoon of light drinking with other moms while they watched their children. To be succinct, it was idiotic. To really be concerned about a glass of wine or two is simply stupid. While it would be equally idiotic to get smashed while your four-year-old played on the swings, I think that most rational people understand the difference.

As an ardent feminist the piece also made me wonder about the gender issues that I could not help picking out. It has long been acceptable for men to casually drink in front of their kids; a beer during a football game, a beer with dinner, a glass of wine after dinner for their heart, etc. Women have long suffered double standards, this is only one example. I could not help but be wryly amused that Ms. Viera worked herself in to lather about some moms having a weak martini with their babysitting. I wonder how she would have reacted if the subject were a father. Methinks the producers would have rejected the piece as a non-story.

Woooooweeeeee

I am relieved to not be a lesbian. Though most men are nut-scratching trolls from time to time, I would much rather deal with their idiocy than the sheer craziness of a female. I know my people, and we are not to be fucked with. We can wage a War of Passive Aggression for years and erode your battlements without you realizing it. We also have a habit of overanalyzing nearly everything that comes our way. Not to say that men don't do these things, but they are traits more commonly found in the female.

A concept that I've fought my entire life is something that I've very recently come to terms with; men and women are different. For you this may not be ground-breaking news, for me admitting is is akin to Cheney admitting that he may have made a mis-step or two. I grew up constantly asserting that anything a man can do a woman can do, that there is no reason that a woman should be excluded from anything. I still believe in these cannonized principles, but I have come to accept that men and women think and act differently on many different levels. Also, I will never be as strong as many men. Le sigh.

Ah well, at least I can use my boobs to get me a free drink or three. I kid, I kid.

Most people that know me are aware that I'm an ardent feminist and do not take kindly to suggestions that I cannot do something because of my sex. As a result I take TONS of shit from my friends that are constantly insulting my woman-hood. Unfortunately for them, I am far more "masculine" than most of them and often teach them a lesson or seven on how to be a man. I have had multiple guy friends tell me that I'm the hottest dude they know. Hahhaha. An example: The time a dear male friend told me that I couldn't possibly know anything about cars because of my vagina then got schooled because he couldn't tell apart a GTO and a Mustang. Silly boy. But it's all in good fun. What good are friends if they can't make you laugh at your flaws and quirks.